Capstone: Build Your Dating Playbook

🔄 Quick Recall: Over seven lessons you’ve covered: AI as a dating tool, profile optimization, first messages, first date preparation, red and green flags, post-date follow-up, and special situations. Now let’s build your playbook.

Your Playbook, Your Rules

Every person reading this course is in a different situation. Some of you are new to dating apps. Some are experienced but frustrated. Some are rebuilding after a breakup. Some are introverts who’d rather do anything than make small talk with a stranger at a coffee shop.

The point of this capstone isn’t to give you another generic checklist. It’s to help you build a personalized toolkit based on YOUR situation, YOUR personality, and YOUR goals.

Step 1: Audit Your Current Situation

Before you can improve, you need to know where you stand. Use this self-assessment:

Your lowest scores are your highest priorities. Focus there first.

✅ Quick Check: Which area from the self-assessment did you rate lowest? That’s the lesson you should revisit first for deeper practice.

AI prompt for self-assessment:

“I want to evaluate where I am in my dating journey. Here’s my honest situation: [describe your experience, what’s working, what’s not, what you find hardest]. Based on the dating skills covered in this course (profile, messaging, first dates, red flags, follow-up, special situations), identify my top 2-3 areas for improvement and suggest one specific action for each.”

Step 2: Optimize Your Profile

From Lesson 2, apply these specific actions:

Photo audit: Do you have all 5-6 photo types? (Headshot, full-body, activity, social, personality, wildcard.) If not, spend this week getting the missing ones. Ask a friend to take candid shots during an activity you enjoy.

Bio rewrite: Use the 70/30 rule. Is your bio specific enough to start a conversation? Test it with this question: “Could someone send me a message based on something specific in my bio?” If not, rewrite it.

AI prompt: “Review my dating profile: [paste photos description and bio]. Score each element and give me 3 specific changes that would improve it.”

Step 3: Build Your Message Bank

From Lesson 3, prepare a mental toolkit of first message approaches so you’re never staring at a blank screen.

Have ready:

• 2-3 profile reference templates (“You mention ___, I love that because ___”)
• 2-3 curiosity questions (“I’m curious what got you into ___”)
• 2-3 playful observations (“Your dog looks like he ___”)

You’re not memorizing scripts. You’re building patterns that you can adapt to any profile.

Step 4: Create Your Date Safety Checklist

From Lesson 4, build a checklist you actually use:

• Video call before meeting (if online match)
• Tell a friend: who, where, when
• Location sharing turned on
• Meet in public
• Own transportation arranged
• Natural endpoint planned (coffee, not dinner)
• Exit strategy if needed (“I have an early morning”)

Save this in your phone’s notes. Pull it up before every first date.

Step 5: Write Your Red Flag / Green Flag List

From Lesson 5, create a personalized list based on your patterns and history.

My non-negotiable red flags:

Green flags I’m looking for:

AI prompt: “Based on my dating history, help me create a personalized red flag and green flag list. Here’s what I’ve experienced: [describe past relationships, patterns you’ve noticed, what went wrong, what felt right]. Give me 5 specific red flags to watch for and 5 green flags to prioritize, based on MY patterns, not generic advice.”

Step 6: Plan Your Follow-Up Strategy

From Lesson 6, decide your default approach in advance:

• Good date: Text by noon the next day with a specific callback
• Uncertain: Give yourself 24 hours to process, then decide whether to try a second date
• Not interested: Send a kind, clear rejection within 48 hours

Having a plan removes the overthinking. You already know what you’ll do.

Course Review: What You Learned

The One Thing That Matters Most

Across all the research covered in this course — from Gottman’s relationship studies to Hinge’s messaging data to the analysis of 50 million messages — one finding comes up again and again:

Perceived responsiveness is the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction. The feeling that someone hears you, understands you, and genuinely cares about your experience.

Every skill in this course serves that goal. A good profile shows who you really are. A good first message shows you paid attention to someone. A good date shows you’re genuinely curious about another person. A good follow-up shows you were present.

The techniques are tools. Responsiveness is the purpose.

Your Final Exercise

Create your complete playbook using this prompt:

“Help me build a personalized Dating Playbook. Here’s my info:

My situation: [single/recently single/re-entering dating] My personality: [introverted/extroverted/mixed] My biggest dating challenge: [describe] What I’m looking for: [relationship type and qualities] What I’ve learned from past dating: [patterns]

Create a one-page playbook with: 1. My profile improvement plan (top 3 changes) 2. My first message approach (which style fits me) 3. My ideal first date type 4. My personal red flag and green flag list 5. My follow-up strategy 6. One specific skill to practice this week”

Key Takeaways

• Start with a self-assessment — improve your weakest area first
• Build a message bank so you never face a blank screen
• Keep a safety checklist in your phone for every first date
• Write down your personal red/green flags so emotions don’t override judgment
• Plan your follow-up strategy in advance to remove overthinking
• Perceived responsiveness — making people feel heard — beats every technique in this course