Social Media on Your Terms
Use AI to analyze your social media relationship, understand what you actually get from each platform, and create operating procedures that serve genuine connection without enabling addictive scrolling.
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The Platform Designed to Keep You
🔄 Quick Recall: In the previous lesson, you built a deep work system with scheduled focus blocks, a pre-work ritual, and progressive duration training. Now let’s address the single biggest threat to that system: social media — the most carefully engineered attention trap in human history.
A one-week social media detox reduces anxiety by 16%, depression by 25%, and insomnia by 14.5%. Those numbers suggest social media isn’t just a time cost — it’s affecting your mental health.
But the answer isn’t necessarily deletion. Social media does provide genuine value: connection with distant friends, professional networking, creative communities, news awareness. The minimalist approach is surgical: keep the value, remove the addiction mechanisms.
The Social Media Audit
Help me analyze my social media usage honestly.
My platforms and daily time:
- [Platform 1]: [X] minutes/day
- [Platform 2]: [X] minutes/day
- [Platform 3]: [X] minutes/day
For each platform, help me answer:
1. Why do I SAY I use this? (connection, news, entertainment, work)
2. What do I ACTUALLY do when I open it? (scroll feed, check messages,
post content, browse explore/discover)
3. How do I feel BEFORE opening it? (bored, anxious, lonely, curious)
4. How do I feel AFTER a typical session? (connected, drained,
anxious, entertained, guilty about wasted time)
5. If this platform disappeared tomorrow, what would I genuinely miss?
6. Is there a more efficient way to get that specific value?
Be brutally honest in the analysis — don't let me rationalize.
The Value vs. Cost Matrix
| Platform | Stated Value | Actual Time Spent on That Value | Time on Algorithm Content | Net Assessment |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| “See friends’ lives” | ~10% | ~90% | High cost, low value delivery | |
| Twitter/X | “Stay informed” | ~20% | ~80% | Outrage algorithms dominate |
| TikTok | “Entertainment” | ~5% intentional | ~95% algorithmic | Infinite scroll trap |
| “Professional network” | ~30% | ~70% | Value buried in noise | |
| “Community groups” | ~25% | ~75% | Groups valuable, feed is not |
✅ Quick Check: Why is the “time spent on stated value vs. algorithm content” ratio so important? Because it reveals the gap between intention and reality. You open Instagram intending to check friends’ updates (10 minutes). You close it 45 minutes later having scrolled through celebrity drama, ads, and suggested reels. The value you came for was delivered in minute 3. The other 42 minutes were extracted by the algorithm. Understanding this ratio is what motivates the shift from passive scrolling to intentional use.
Designing Your Social Media Operating Procedures
For each platform you decide to keep, create specific rules:
I've decided to keep [platform] because it genuinely serves [value].
Design operating procedures that maximize this value
while minimizing addictive consumption:
1. DEVICE: Where will I access this? (Desktop only? Phone but no app —
browser only? App with restrictions?)
2. TIMING: When will I use this? (Specific times/days, not "whenever")
3. DURATION: How long per session? (Set a timer BEFORE opening)
4. PURPOSE: What will I do each session? (Check messages,
browse specific accounts, post content — defined before opening)
5. FEED CURATION: Who/what stays in my feed? (Unfollow aggressively —
keep only accounts that consistently add value)
6. FEATURES TO DISABLE: What app features should I turn off?
(Notifications, explore page, suggested content, auto-play)
Write these as clear, specific rules I can print and keep visible.
Platform-Specific Strategies
Instagram:
Make Instagram intentional for me.
My goal: Stay connected with close friends, share occasional updates.
Configure my approach:
1. Switch to desktop browser access only (delete app)
2. Use "Following" feed (chronological, people I follow only)
3. Unfollow everyone except: real friends, family, 5-10 accounts
I genuinely value
4. Mute stories from acquaintances (keep close friends only)
5. Never open Explore or Reels tabs
6. Sessions: 15 minutes, Sunday and Wednesday evenings
Twitter/X or news platforms:
I want to stay informed without the outrage algorithm.
Design a news consumption protocol:
1. Which 2-3 sources give me 80% of the news I need?
2. Should I use RSS instead of social feeds? (Removes algorithm)
3. What's a healthy news check frequency? (Twice daily? Once?)
4. How do I avoid falling down breaking-news rabbit holes?
5. Create a "news diet" — specific topics I follow, everything else muted
Replacing Passive Scrolling with Active Connection
The biggest social media deception: scrolling a feed feels like socializing but isn’t.
Help me replace social media scrolling with real connection.
I currently use social media for approximately [X] hours/week.
I want to redirect that time toward deeper relationships.
Create:
1. A weekly check-in system — 5 close friends I'll text/call weekly
(rotating, so everyone gets monthly contact)
2. A monthly connection ritual — one longer conversation or meetup
with someone I care about
3. Conversation starters that go beyond "how are you" — questions
that lead to real conversations
4. A way to track my connection habits without making it feel transactional
✅ Quick Check: Why is a phone call to one friend worth more than liking 50 posts? Because passive interaction (likes, reactions, brief comments) creates the illusion of social connection without the substance. A 10-minute phone call where you ask “What’s actually going on in your life?” generates more oxytocin, more emotional support, and more relationship depth than weeks of social media interaction. Digital minimalism isn’t anti-social — it redirects social energy from quantity (broad, shallow engagement) to quality (narrow, deep connection).
Key Takeaways
- Audit your actual social media behavior — typically only 10-20% of usage time is spent on the stated value (connection, information); the rest is algorithmically served content
- Time limits alone fail because they fight symptoms, not causes; attack engagement mechanisms directly (remove apps, use chronological feeds, curate aggressively)
- Every retained platform needs written operating procedures: specific device, timing, duration, purpose, and feature restrictions
- Digital minimalism has real social costs (missing posts, FOMO) — mitigate with intentional replacement rituals (weekly texts, monthly calls)
- Replace passive scrolling with active connection: one real conversation is worth more than 50 likes
Up Next: You’ll tackle information overload — designing an AI-curated content diet that delivers what you need to know without drowning you in what you don’t.
Knowledge Check
Complete the quiz above first
Lesson completed!