Delivering Effective Feedback

Why Feedback Terrifies Everyone

In the previous lesson, we covered delegation frameworks. Now let’s build on that foundation with the skill leaders struggle with most: giving feedback.

Most managers either avoid feedback entirely (hoping problems fix themselves) or deliver it so awkwardly that it creates resentment instead of change. Both approaches fail the team.

The problem isn’t that feedback is hard. It’s that nobody teaches you how to do it well. So you fall back on what you’ve experienced—which, for most people, was clumsy feedback from their own managers.

The SBI Feedback Framework

Forget the feedback sandwich. Use SBI instead:

S — Situation: When and where did this happen? B — Behavior: What specifically did the person do? I — Impact: What was the effect on the team, project, or customer?

Example:

Instead of: “You need to be more professional in meetings.”

Use SBI: “In yesterday’s client meeting (situation), you checked your phone three times during the client’s presentation (behavior). The client paused each time and seemed frustrated, which put our relationship at risk (impact).”

The SBI version is specific, observable, and non-judgmental. The person knows exactly what to change.

Practice with AI:

I need to give feedback about this situation:
[Describe what happened]

Help me structure this using the SBI framework:
1. What's the specific situation (time, place)?
2. What's the observable behavior (not interpretation)?
3. What's the impact (on team, project, customer)?
4. How should I phrase this for a constructive conversation?
5. What defensive reactions should I prepare for?

Types of Feedback

Different situations require different approaches:

Reinforcing Feedback (Keep doing this)

When someone does something well, be specific about why it was effective:

“In the sprint review, you walked through each feature with a user story. The stakeholders could immediately see the value. Keep doing that—it’s the most effective demo format I’ve seen.”

Corrective Feedback (Change this)

When something needs to change, focus on behavior and impact:

“The report you sent to the client had three data errors. When clients find errors, it erodes their confidence in our analysis. Let’s set up a review step before reports go out.”

Developmental Feedback (Grow into this)

When you’re pushing someone’s growth:

“You’re strong at individual technical work. The next level requires leading cross-functional conversations. I’d like you to run the next project kickoff—I’ll coach you through the prep.”

Quick Check

A manager says: “Sarah, you’re not a team player. You need to start collaborating better.” Using the SBI framework, what’s wrong with this feedback and how would you fix it?

The Feedback Conversation Structure

For significant feedback, plan the full conversation:

1. Ask Permission

“I have some feedback about the project. Is now a good time?” (Gives them mental space to receive feedback)

2. State the SBI

Deliver the situation, behavior, and impact clearly and concisely.

3. Pause and Listen

Stop talking. Let them process and respond. The silence is important.

4. Explore Together

“What’s your perspective on this?” “What was going on for you?” (You might learn context that changes your understanding)

5. Agree on Next Steps

“What would you like to do differently?” “How can I support that?” (Let them own the solution when possible)

6. Follow Up

Check in later. “How did the new approach work?” (Shows you care about growth, not just compliance)

Timing and Delivery

The ratio: Aim for 3-5 positive observations for every corrective one. Not because you’re manufacturing positives, but because you should be noticing what people do well.

Rehearsing with AI

Before a difficult feedback conversation, rehearse:

AI: I need to give corrective feedback to [team member] about [situation].

Let's role-play this conversation. You play [team member].

I'll start by delivering my SBI feedback. Respond as they might—
include realistic pushback, defensiveness, or questions.

After each exchange, coach me on:
- Was my phrasing specific and non-judgmental?
- Did I stay focused on behavior and impact?
- How could I handle their response better?

Receiving Feedback as a Leader

Leaders who can’t receive feedback can’t expect their teams to accept it either.

Model Good Receiving:

• Thank the person for sharing
• Don’t get defensive (even if you disagree)
• Ask clarifying questions
• Reflect back what you heard
• Take action on valid points
• Follow up to show you listened

Ask for feedback actively:

“What’s one thing I could do differently to better support the team?” “Where am I getting in the way without realizing it?”

Common Feedback Mistakes

Exercise: Practice Feedback Delivery

1. Identify one reinforcing and one corrective feedback you need to give
2. Structure each using the SBI framework
3. Rehearse the corrective feedback with AI (role-play)
4. Refine your phrasing based on AI coaching
5. Deliver the reinforcing feedback this week (start with the easy one)

Key Takeaways

• Use SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact) instead of the feedback sandwich
• Be specific about observable behaviors—never label character traits
• Different situations need different feedback types: reinforcing, corrective, developmental
• Rehearse difficult conversations with AI before having them in person
• Aim for a 3:1 positive-to-corrective ratio—notice what people do well
• Receiving feedback well as a leader models the behavior you want from your team

Up next: In the next lesson, we’ll dive into Conflict Resolution Strategies.