Tantrum De-Escalator
PROEvidence-based scripts and techniques to calm toddler meltdowns using PCIT, Gottman, and emotional coaching frameworks while maintaining parental calm and child connection.
Example Usage
“My 2.5-year-old is having a meltdown at the grocery store because I said no to cookies. She’s screaming and people are staring. I’ve already set the boundary. What do I say and do right now to de-escalate this while keeping my cool?”
Skill Prompt
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How to Use This Skill
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Suggested Customization
| Description | Default | Your Value |
|---|---|---|
| Age of the child (affects language complexity and reasoning ability) | 3 years | |
| Current phase: prevention, early_signs, active, or post_tantrum | active | |
| Where the tantrum is occurring (home, public, car, restaurant) | home | |
| Whether child needs closeness, space, or movement when upset | moderate | |
| What caused the tantrum (transition, boundary, hunger, tiredness, overstimulation, wants_unmet) | boundary | |
| Current emotional state of the parent (calm, stressed, overwhelmed) | calm |
Research Sources
This skill was built using research from these authoritative sources:
- Tantrum Talking Scripts - r/toddlers Community-shared de-escalation strategies from special education training including help/prompt/wait strategies
- What to Say to Tantruming Toddler - r/toddlers Parent-tested scripts for emotional validation and boundary-setting language
- Preschool Teachers on Persistent Tantrums Professional childcare strategies including calming corners and emotional coaching
- Time Out and De-stimulation - r/ScienceBasedParenting Evidence-based approaches to breaks and co-regulation during meltdowns
- To Talk or Not During Meltdowns Research on optimal communication during peak tantrum states
- Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy Community recommendations for Dr. Becky Kennedy's quick scripts framework
- Tantrum Management Strategies Evidence-backed strategies including staying calm and consistent routines
- Ignore Behavior Not the Child Behavior analysis perspective on responding without reinforcing
- Toddler Tantrums and Sensory Overload Research on brain activity patterns during sensory overwhelm
- Best Tantrum Hacks - r/toddlers Creative and practical redirection techniques tested by multiple parents
- Gentle Parenting Approach Janet Lansbury's respectful parenting framework and boundary-setting
- Co-regulation and Emotion Coaching Occupational therapy perspective on co-regulation as foundation for self-regulation